If You Passed These Levels of Female Friendships, You’d be Friends Forever

Shelly Lee
4 min readJun 15, 2021
Photo by Elliott Chau at StockSnap

On one regular weekday, I wasn’t in the best of moods. There were no tricky work situations or annoying clients, and everybody I knew was in good health. Later in the day I met my best friend, who took a look at me and declared something that I didn’t even know about myself: "Did you have a bad lunch?"

I was taken aback for a moment. Yes, I had leftovers that I felt too bad to throw out. She knew that good food was important in my life, and she knew that going through a full workday without nutritious lunch to fuel my day, was enough to deflate my mood.

So that’s the first level of female friendship: knowing each other intimately.

One of the things I love best is introducing two people I really like to each other and seeing them hit it off. Not necessarily a man and a woman, but two friends with no romantic interests. After all, if you loved being friends with someone, wouldn’t it be better if you add another one (or two or three) who’d make the friendship more fun and interesting? That’s the second level of female friendship: adding more for a stronger mix.

If you’re a regular female, there might be times in your life in which you’d be going on bad dates or fad diets. While your friends might not be able to save you from disastrous diets, they would be there to save you from bad dates. Either they could "drop by accidentally", or just lending an ear to your woes. In the end, you might still be fabulously single with an extra 10 lbs that are totally lovable.

That’s the third level of female friendship: going through bad times and emerging victoriously.

I remember the time when my longtime friend and I had a falling out. We had a argument and embarrassingly, in public. Alcohol might be involved, though I wasn’t sure. I remember it was nighttime and we just watched a documentary of a successful Chinese artist. As usual, we had a nice after movie meal and discussed about the film. Temper started to flare since I was staunchly rooted in my position that because the artist cheated on his wife, this documentary was a failure in my book. My artistic friend, however, didn’t see cheating as an issue. She looked at the lighting, camera angles, settings, and those things you’d pay attention to if you had a deep interest in film. We didn’t speak for a few weeks, but then we made up and brushed off the incident. We did learn more about each other afterwards.

That’s the fourth level of female friendship: understanding personality traits that are so much the opposite from yours and accepting each other’s faults.

One of my best friends, who lives across the world from me (yes, we currently live one ocean apart), texted me to ask for advice. One of her best friends (we do live in a world of intertwined best friends) suddenly stopped responding to her calls. This friend has been going through hard times and she meant well to support her. Having gone through life’s difficult situations, I have acquired the wisdom that many times, it’s not me, but you. So I suggested that she give her some time. We don’t always have control of unfortunate situations, but there are some in which we prefer to keep it in.

That’s the fifth level of female friendship: giving a friend all the time, space and patience that she needs, even if it hurt a little

One day, my longtime friend whom I haven’t heard from in 6 months contacted me. I have deep affection for her even though we don’t always contact each other frequently. She was there for me when I moved to this city, and I was there for her during her three different breakups. What did I know, she told me about her impending fourth breakup, but it was different this time. It was a 15 year marriage, and she told me it was over. Our other friends staggered time to spend time with her and did everything we could to help her emotionally. We couldn’t tell whether we were successful, but this is the sixth level of female friendship: being someone’s rocklike support in life-changing situations.

Like all good relationships, it only becomes better if tried and tested. Cheers to great friendships!

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